Mosier continued his words: “Recently I was at Marmara Park Mall and witnessed a two-year-old throwing a temper-tantrum when he did not get his way. He wanted his parent to buy something and he threw himself on the floor and started kicking and screaming. The embarrassed parent gave-in to his tantrum and gave him the toy he was demanding. The surest way to condition a demanding child to grow into a demanding adult is to give-in to temper tantrums during toddlerhood.”
“Temper tantrums are among the most troubling and irritating problems that parents face. Tantrums are simply a child’s way of expressing frustration. Unfortunately, tantrums can become very manipulating. If a child learns such a display will get parents to give in to demands, this will translate into an adult who is demanding with his/her spouse. To avoid this tragic prognosis and not reinforce temper tantrums, consider the following options:”
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“Be a positive role model for self-control. Avoid letting your children see or hear you displaying your adult temper tantrums.
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If your child has temper tantrums in public, ignoring is the best policy. Despite the looks you will get from other people it is wisest to not give-in to the tantrum or bribe the child to stop. To minimize the risk of temper tantrums occurring, have clear rules about what behavior is expected in public places. For example, allow your child to help pick out certain items and put them in the shopping cart.
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If the child is not hurting himself, anyone else, and not destroying property, ignore the tantrum! This is the most difficult course of action. However, if your goal is to stop future temper tantrums from occurring, it is imperative to ignore a tantrum while it is in progress.
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If the child is hurting someone else or destroying property, you should physically hold the child and say, “I cannot allow you to hurt...(name the person or identify the property).... therefore, I will hold you until I feel safe that you understand that you cannot hurt...(again name the person or the property)”.
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Use humor to prevent temper tantrums. Recall things that usually get a smile or giggle out of your child. Try them when you see your child beginning to get frustrated when you are in public.
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Process the temper tantrum, after it is over. This must be done at a neutral time (when neither you nor the child are upset). Comment on the tantrum, saying that you understand that the child was upset. Ask the child to recall what led up to the tantrum. Offer an alternative way to handle the situation for next time. You can even reenact the situation to help the child practice alternative behavior.”
Mosier said:
“Remember, without an audience, a temper tantrum will eventually stop by itself. If you give a child attention during a tantrum, you will be increasing the odds that future tantrums will occur. Any verbal interaction with the child, during a tantrum, will be a positive reinforcement for more tantrums.
The way you respond to temper tantrums during the “terrible twos” will determine the type and frequency of discipline problems you will encounter when your child is an adolescent. There is no such thing as a generation gap between parents and teenagers. It is a communication gap that was forged during the temper tantrums of early childhood.
A Child Development Specialist must understand child development concepts to translate them into models for developmentally appropriate ways parents and teachers should interact with children.”
