10 tips for parents whose children will start school!

Stating that the school start period is an uncertain process for children to be separated from their families, homes, toys, and home arrangements, Istanbul Gelisim University, Faculty of Health Sciences, Department of Child Development Res. Asst. Kevser Tuğba Çınar Karasu: "Physical separation that starts with birth and then physical distancing from the mother occurs with the beginning of walking in infancy. While this situation creates the joy of being able to act independently in children, it can also create an anxiety caused by moving away. Children try to cope with this anxiety at that time. Over time, they realize that the presence of the caregiver will not be lost and they start to feel safe.”
Parents' supportive attitudes in their children's school start-up process can facilitate the school adaptation process. Res. Asst. Kevser Tuğba Çınar Karasu listed the responsibilities of parents in 10 items.

1. Listen to your child's worries and concerns: Your child may have concerns about school, you can listen to him/her carefully, try to understand him/her and eliminate the question marks in his/her mind by using simple, clear and developmental language. Children may need embodiment due to their developmental characteristics during this period. Uncertainties about anxiety can be embodied by singing, nursery rhyming, painting, and animating events.
2. Try to understand your child's emotions: Your child may have negative emotions such as anxiety and anxiety in this new period of his/her life, as well as positive emotions such as excitement, enthusiasm, happiness, joy, and he/she may experience these emotions at the peak. Because your child will enter a new environment, meet new friends, get to know new materials and experience new emotions. For this reason, the child may need to express himself. In such periods, it may be useful to create areas where he/she can express himself/herself. In this period, children's feelings need to be cared for, accepted and shared. At these times, you can talk about what your child thinks about school and what feelings these thoughts create in him.
3. Be systematic about your daily routines: Daily routines help children feel safe and cope with uncertainty. The regularity of children's times such as breakfast time before school, time to prepare their belongings, play time, meal time, screen usage time, and sleep time after school make the school adaptation process easier. It is also important for parents to supervise children's screen usage times and content in daily routines.
4. Give the opportunity: Giveyour child the opportunity to take on their own responsibilities, remembering that your child is a separate individual. For instance, providing opportunities for your child to prepare his/her school bag, take his/her lunch bag from the kitchen, fill his/her drinker, wear his/her own school clothes, tie his/her shoes, etc. supports his/her development of these skills. It help them to adopt the responsibility of collecting their lunch box, school bag, cardigan and jacket after school without you. At the same time, it is important to perform the skills of going to the toilet alone and doing personal cleaning.
5. School introduction: The school is a physically large and crowded place. During the adaptation weeks to the primary school, the internal and external environment of the school is introduced. It is comforting for your child to learn basic areas such as the classroom, the toilet, the teachers' room, and to have places around him/her that he/she has seen before when he/she is alone.
6. Set realistic expectations: Avoid describing unrealistic situations related to school before your child starts school. If you say that the school will be constantly playing games like a park and that friendship relations will always progress very well, you may have reduced your child to an unrealistic expectation. For this reason, it is important to make realistic statements about the school in accordance with the level of development. It would be healthier to mention that the school has rules, there are lesson times and break times, and these rules should be followed.
7. Every child is different: Be aware of your child's individual differences. Unlike children's daily routines, their sensory sensitivity (auditory, visual, tactile) may increase in the school environment. The crowd in the school may disrupt their tactile sensory regulations such as visual, noise, auditory, holding hands with friends, etc. For this reason, it is important for you to be aware of your child's sensitivities, to understand him/her, to accept the situation, not to force your child and to support him/her.
8. Do not compare: Each child will go through a different adjustment process. In this process, some children adapt quickly and enjoy going to school, while some children try to cope with fear and anxiety in this process. It is natural for each child to react differently. Comparing your child with his/her friends, using expressions such as "Look, your friend does not cry at all, you cry like a baby" will not make the process easier for your child, on the contrary, it will make it difficult. Instead of comparing this issue, it will be important to give your child time to adapt to the new situation.
9. Your past experiences: You can talk about your own school process to eliminate the uncertainties in your child's mind. You can talk about your excitement in the process of starting school, your fears, or a memory you remember with your teacher or friends.
10. Avoid threats and excessive rewards: During this period when your child is trying to adapt to school, it is important not to accustom him/her to external control such as rewards and punishments, but to support him/her to get used to this process by providing internal control as much as possible. For example, after you leave school every day, you can first tell them about your day; then you can ask them to tell you about their day and share their feelings about school.